April Newsletter

Not a lot to report for this month. April has been our Women's Health block and the last new material before we start reviewing for the boards. I've done well on the first two thirds of the course and I'm still going strong, so I think I'll have a good finish to the semester. This is despite being quite antsy to be done with the semester, wanting to go sailing, and wanting to get into residency right now. I think everyone's ready to be done with school, so it's good the semester's closing out soon. I don't feel like we're reaching a milestone with finishing our first two years, because we still have to take our board review course, the boards, and a capstone course to introduce us to the hospitals. I think I'll feel like a third year med student after I finish the boards successfully.

I'm working on a hand-held sail for on-land windsurfing on my skateboard. I still need to cut and sew the material for the sail, but I've made the frame, a picture of which is shown below. The other pictures are of some of the trees I noticed blooming lately. It's neat to see the flowers back on the trees.

Scott

Sail frame. Yes, it's basically a big kite.

Tree at the road by my apartment complex.

Tree right outside my window. Looks better in person.

March's Newsletter

This may be a couple days late, but I can claim that was intentional so I could not only experience the entirety of March, but also allow myself time to think and write a thoughtful reflection. Right. Also, sorry about the length, but there's a lot of news.

March 1st found me in the midst of our first Renal test, showing off all my knowledge of the functioning of the kidneys. I say that partly in jest, but for the first segment of Renal, ending the day of that first test, I felt quite on top of the course material. I'm not sure what happened, but for the rest of Renal, I barely kept my head above water. In fact, it was my score on the first test that carried me through the abysmal scores on the second test and final. The good news on that front: I passed the course even without the curve on the final exam, which we just took a week ago. I felt like I picked up the pace a bit for the last leg of the course to have a strong finish, but I ended up doing poorly on the final anyway. The disappointment from that is alleviated by knowing that only half of the final was on the new material and especially by the relief of not needing to retake the course this summer.

On March 5th, I and a classmate, Paul, flew to New Jersey for the student surgery club spring national convention. Friday consisted of several surgeons taking more time than allotted to tell us about various aspects of surgical careers. I didn't pull much out of that evening. That night, most of the students went to a bowling alley and stayed there, apparently getting quite tipsy, until after midnight. Paul and I missed the experience because we had been up for so long and just wanted to go to the hotel and sleep. The next day consisted of a lot of hands-on experiences. We ran through how to gown and glove (maintaining a sterile environment while donning surgical garb), laparoscopic maneuvers (abdominal surgery using small holes instead of a big incision), and several other procedures. It was a lot of fun. During lunch, I was sitting with some first years from another school and they were talking about their drinking experiences of the previous night and plans for that night. It made me wonder how much maturation happens between our first and second year. Yes, many of my classmates still like hanging out downtown in clubs and bars, and while I'm not into the drinking scene myself, I still feel like my class has become more responsible and mellowed out somewhat in regard to drinking. They have definitely made strides in the interpersonal drama that kept the gossip fires well-stoked. First year, I felt like we had regressed all the way back to high school, the immaturity was so ridiculous. This year, I have still been bothered by some classmates' immaturity, but overall, we've come a long way. Sorry, I'm waxing philosophical; I'll wax anecdotal again.

The second night's activity was going to Atlantic City, with the idea of more drinking and maybe some gambling on the side. Neither Paul nor I wanted to go drinking, especially not 'til 3am, so we decided to take our rental car instead of the provided bus. If you've not been to Atlantic City, the Strip, a boardwalk on the beach, is like a mixture of Las Vegas and a carnival, so it would be a fun place to walk during the day with casinos, carnival games, and eateries on one side and the ocean on the other. After dark, be sure to stay on the boardwalk, on the east side of the casinos. Even then, we were hit on by a hooker, then once we crossed back to the west side of the casinos, we truly thought a mugging was inevitable.

The last day, we did a community service event in a church in an area in which every other house was either condemned or enclosed in security bars. We were told not to leave the building unless we were with someone and left our white coats behind. We took blood pressure and blood sugar readings for people and provided food and informational packets about various health topics. It was good to do that; it's been a long time since I did any service activities and I appreciated the reminder of the conditions some people are dealing with. We had enough time after that to try every bridge in southern Jersey back to the airport in Philadelphia, looking for one without tolls. After an hour of getting off and on freeways and trying three bridges, we found out it was just a one-time toll of $4, and we happened to have $4.06 on hand. We just had enough time to run through the Liberty Hall and Liberty Bell area. It was nice to see parts of US history, even if only briefly. See pictures below.

We have been on spring break this week (yeah, I know, there's absolutely no excuse to be writing this late), so I've worked on a project I thought of the night before the final. It was a real strain making myself go to bed for a good night's sleep instead of starting on the project that night. I was watching a gardening show which showed several gardens with hand-laid brick and stone walkways and walls. This made me want to do some sort of similar project and I thought of making a mosaic. I like glass and especially mirrors, so I decided on starting with a mirror tile, etching a compass rose onto it, breaking it, and using the shards to make a mosaic. It's not quite what I expected, but I'm still working on it and it turned out a lot better than it could have considering it was my first time working with anything like this. It's currently mounted in a frame of foam board and balsa wood with plaster of Paris. I tried using grout sealer to seal the plaster, but I guess grout sealer means grout sealer, because it serves only to dissolve a bit of plaster and smudge it around. Next is to use acrylic sealer on the plaster and clean up the glass, then outline the edges of the frame with blue foam rubber, finishing by figuring out how to hang it. See pictures below.

In personal news, Liz and I broke up early this month. Since everyone seems to find it important, it was my idea, but that doesn't really make it easier. I didn't feel like I could give her the time or attention she deserved; basically, I wasn't very invested in the relationship. She, on the other hand, was willing to do almost whatever was needed to work around my schedule and do what I wanted to do. There's a bit more to it, but that's the gist. I'm glad for the opportunity to get to know her better, learn about relationships, and learn about myself, too. I don't know how I'll feel down the road, but right now I'm content being single, and feel like any relationship I would be in right now would have to be all about me since I don't really want to change, and that doesn't seem healthy or desirable.

A positive outcome of the breakup is that I finally started thinking about various personal issues and, with some urging from a friend, I set up an appointment to start counseling April 6th. I've struggled with depression and sundry things I'd like to finally get straightened out, so this is a really good thing. Also, because of the way I'm going about getting counseling, I don't have to worry about negative repercussions on my future career.

I'm anxiously awaiting August, when lectures and board exams will be over and I'll finally be in the hospitals, but for now, I'm setting my sights on the end of May, when our last block, Women's Health, will be over and board review will start. Hopefully I'll post the next newsletter a few days before then.

Scott

Proof we were in Atlantic City. As you can see, the sign says, "Welcome to Atlantic City." Or "Shocking Upscale Presbyterian Party." Maybe "Passing Through Mississippi Ping"?

Atlantic Ocean at night. I really like the depth of color in this shot.

It was tricky dodging other people and their photo ops to get this. My expression conveys something like, "Oops, I hope I'm not in their picture! Hey, don't get in mine! Geez, has he taken it yet? Wait, am I smiling?"

Liberty Hall.

Mirror after etching. It's one foot square in dimension.

Mirror after breaking.

Framed and mounted with plaster of Paris.

Grout sealer smears.

Bonus pic. Is it a ship? Is it a kite? It's a ship kite! Mom gave me this a while ago and a recent windy day inspired me to give it a fly try.

Update on Relationship with Liz

Liz and I broke up last week. I felt like I wasn't able to give her the time and attention she deserved, plus I've seen some issues I need to sort out so I can be able to contribute to a healthy relationship, so I thought it would be best to break up now instead of getting closer and just end up having a harder separation in the future. I was talking with a friend about the breakup and based on my reasoning and some things I've shared with her in the past, she suggested I talk with the school counselor to see if she would have any advice about what kind of professional counseling I could pursue. I decided to follow through with that suggestion, but the counselor was out of town last week through the weekend. If I do end up getting some sort of counseling, I suppose this will have been a positive event in my life. In any event, it was a positive thing having gotten to know Liz, and we plan on remaining friends and maybe in the future seeing if things will work out better.

Little else to report.

Scott

34 Minutes to Spare

Thought I better write another newsletter in the last few moments of February so it wouldn't technically be late. The last few weeks have seen a decline in my motivation to study, but that seems to be the general attitude at school, so hopefully tomorrow's test will end up with a hefty curve (oops, they don't curve tests, they statistically analyze them). We are in our Renal block, so we're studying the kidneys, and I think the hype about the difficulty of this subject is somewhat justified. It's four more weeks of renal, then Women's Health, then a month-long board review course, then I'm taking the boards and taking a few weeks off before starting rotations in the hospitals. I am assigned to the Colorado Springs and Pueblo hospitals for my rotations, but I won't know any more than that for a month or so. I've been looking forward to rotations, but the last couple of days I've realized that what I really need is those few weeks off. We get a spring break at the end of renal, so I just have to stick it out a month and I'll get a breather.


Liz and I are still going out. I'm discovering the difficulty of managing a relationship around two peoples' schedules. I met her mom and step-dad Friday night at the ballet her mom took us to, so now I've met all of her immediate family, and in mid-March, she'll have met all of mine when we go to Body Worlds at the museum with my dad.


This seems pretty short, but I should get going, and I think this pretty much sums up the last month of my life anyway.


Scott

January Newsletter. Last Semester: Off and Running

The semester started well. I got ahead on readings and had a positive outlook on how this last in-class semester would turn out. Extracurricular developments have taken place. Details be here, but suffice it to say, I now have a girlfriend. Her name is Liz and she's the librarian assistant at school. I'm pretty excited about the relationship - we have a lot in common and I feel comfortable and enjoy spending time with her.

I have a bit less time to devote to studies since I'm spending it with Liz, but, not wanting my studies to slip, I've been more motivated to hit the books. So I'm at a break-even or even a bit ahead as regards studying compared with last semester, and my mood is considerably cheerier having a lady friend, plus I have been through three semesters of being perpetually behind (and I am again somewhat behind), so I know I can do it.

My cheery mood did just get overshadowed, though, as our new dean has recently showed signs of being the micromanaging, "forsake all else in life and devote yourself to med school or I'll find some reason to kick you out of my school" type. When we started in August '08, there was a strong family and extra-curricular emphasis at the school, even more so than the norm for osteopathic schools, so most of the students will probably take exception to this stance. I'm hoping I can lie low enough not to get in any sort of trouble. We've weathered other political crossfire, and I try to comfort myself with that knowledge, but in the past we peons didn't get dragged into the fray. My biggest concerns for myself are any repercussions from my continuing struggle to stay diligent with studies and now my relationship with Liz in case Lord Dean decides it's too distracting for me. Anyway, one of my friends has an obstinately level head, so it's good to have him around as a steadying voice to somewhat counteract the frenzied rumor mill.

We knew things would be unsteady when we signed on, and we're seeing the manifestations of that and of just living in the adult world, so on we press.

Scott

New Excitement and Same Old Grind

While I was at the school library last Saturday, prepping for the semester, Liz, one of the librarian assistants, who I think is cute, was working the desk. When saying "bye" on my way out, I found out she had an hour left before her shift ended. She's always seemed sweet when I've talked with her, so I spent the next hour realizing I could ask her out and unsuccessfully trying to think of valid reasons I hadn't. Right as her shift ended, I arrived back at school and must have been delayed just a bit too long in the restroom, which I decided to visit because of the cold outside and nerves and thought collection. A library tech whom I hadn't met but who's been working there two months already (no, really, I go to the library regularly) let me know I'd just missed Liz.

Well, not losing heart, I went back the next day to study and hopefully to just happen to run into her. Over the course of a couple conversations, the head librarian let me know Liz wouldn't be at work again until Tuesday, that email would indeed be a poor way of asking her out (hey, I wouldn't have even asked if I thought it was a solid idea), and that, officially, the conversation hadn't taken place in case there was some policy against staff/student relationships. I had already ruled out the potential for conflict of interest situations, but spurred on by the librarian's last comment, I looked through the relevant sections of the faculty and employee handbooks without seeing anything forbidding me from asking out Liz (though, a lot about faculty/student fornication). Still, I wanted to be sure everything could be above board, so I talked with the heads of HR and Student Services on Monday to see if they could think of any impeding policies I hadn't found. They gave the all-clear, with the small caveat that we should maintain gossip about our fellow university denizens at a minimum.

With my carte blanche filed away, I made a point to set up shop in the library Tuesday afternoon. After a while of partially-successful studying, I decided to visit the restroom to empty the nerves out of my bladder then make my move. Apparently adrenaline causes amnesia, but I think after asking how her weekend went and if her cold was any better, I inquired about her dinner plans before asking if I could take her out sometime this week. She said, "Yes"!

She got off work at eight, so we decided to go to Noodles and Company for a late dinner. Though students have a lax dress code, business casual is still required for staff, so I went home and changed out of my jeans and T-shirt to more closely match Liz's apparel. We talked about work, school, family, and interests and it was really fun getting to know her a little bit more. She's a self-proclaimed nerd and likes Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and the like, and she was an English major, so maybe she'll appreciate my strange fondness for grammar (I consider it a matter of personal growth that I can include split infinitives in this post).

I was really happy about not displaying my usual ineptitude with conversation. However, when I dropped her off at her car, I showed my lack of dating experience by not getting her number, nor making any future plans, nor whatever people usually do after a date, but she mentioned she would be working Wednesday, so I figured things would sort themselves out somehow. I made another stop at the library the next day and did what I hadn't the night before, so I now have her number and we're going bowling tomorrow afternoon (actually, later today, by my clock). I'm excited about the potential in the relationship: someone to have fun with, a girl to whom I can apply the first person (I've never been in a "we"), life less lonely, a look into whole new aspects of life by finding out about her interests and activities.




Regarding this semester, while starting well, it has already turned into another sleep-deprived exercise in deciding how best to manage falling behind. It helps having three passed (no, not past, but that's true, too) semesters of poor sleep and study habits to reassure me that staying caught up is not the end-all of med school. It's also helpful that I'm more motivated now than I have been for most of the passed (wait, that should be past) year and a half. Anyway, speaking of poor sleeping habits, it's way past (or is it passed) my bedtime.


Scott

Bring It On

I'm in my school's library on the Saturday before school restarts and of the three other people on campus, I'm the only one not getting paid to be here. I'm hoping my preparedness pays off and sets the tone for this last semester on campus. I've thought off and on about how hard it is that I have to trudge through all this internal medicine-themed training to get to anything surgically-related and some thoughts have finally congealed as I sit here alone in the library two days before I have to be back at school. Though I may not ultimately want to work in internal medicine, I do find it interesting and should let that interest take the forefront of my focus for now. This is the hoop I have to jump through to become a surgeon, so it's not like I'm putting my dreams on hold, rather, I'm doing exactly what is necessary to fulfill them. It has taken three full semesters to have this cohesive a view of my situation, and who knows whether it will have any effect on my thinking in the coming months, but I do keep getting better and better at this med school thing, so maybe this last lecture-based semester will be totally different (i.e., enjoyable). The fact that I only have one more semester before beginning the practical part of medical school is also a boon to my outlook on the near future.

Back to the books.

Scott